Notes, musings, and observations from the New England Patriots’ 40-7 loss to the Los Angeles Chargers.
The week between Christmas and New Year’s Day is this weird vortex where you never know what day it is, or even what time it is. You’ve been eating and drinking yourself blind for five straight days and you’re walking around in sweatpants a bloated mess. You know that all the work you put off until January is creeping up on you and you’re staring down the barrel of the two worst months of the year, and so you’re doing everything you can to milk this last week of gluttony for all it’s worth. It makes it hard to do much of anything productive.
And maybe that’s what happened to the entire New England Patriots roster yesterday, because nobody showed up for this game at any level and as a result the Chargers hung 40 on them and it probably could have been a lot more. Just a dismal, embarrassing loss that looked the way I feel right now.
1. The purpose of these Fan Notes has always been to break down the game with a combination of analysis, opinion, and a little bit of humor. They aren’t always winners, but I do my best. But even though this game literally just ended, I can’t for the life of me remember a single thing that took place other than two plays. So I guess I’ll start there.
2. Last week, the Patriots ran a backwards lateral play that never should have been called. The Bills sniffed it out right away, Mondre couldn’t hang onto the ball, and it ended up being a defensive score for Buffalo. Well the Patriots out-Patrioted themselves yesterday with what I’m guessing was supposed to be some kind of Jet Sweep/Toss hybrid where the receiver motions behind the quarterback and takes the toss in stride to gain the edge. Well that didn’t happen. Maye tossed it to nobody, the entire Patriots offense was clueless, and the Chargers fell on it for another turnover. On one hand, you want to give the coaching staff credit for trying out new plays and pulling out all the stops. But on the other, when they’ve showed week in and week out that the struggle making even the most basic plays work, it might behoove them to save the trickery for next year.
3. The only other play I can recall is Drake Maye utilizing a free play to take a chance on a long ball to the end zone, which Pop Douglas caught via a beautiful adjustment and grab. It was the kind of play you expect from a seasoned veteran, not a 22-year old who has spent the majority of this season running for his life.
4. Oh, I remember Ladd McConkey going off for 94 yards and two scores. And Gonzo getting hurt. And Maye getting hurt. So there’s that.
5. And since those are legitimately the only plays that stick out in my mind in any capacity and I have neither the desire nor the stomach to go back and watch even one second of that debacle again, I may as well use a few of the old standbys that have gotten me through almost every Fan Notes I’ve written this season.
6. Holding penalties and offensive line blunders negate positive plays.
7. Drake Maye needing just a few seconds of protection, getting none of it, and taking sacks.
8. A defense that can’t cover anybody, can’t tackle, can’t stop the run, and can’t get off the field.
9. Under other circumstances, this is the kind of game that would get a coach fired. An absolute joke of a game where the entire team looked completely unprepared, coming off a pretty positive performance the week before where there was a real chance to gain some momentum going into the offseason. Rather than keep showing promise, the Patriots played hands down their worst game of the season and got completely embarrassed at home. Jerod Mayo’s job his safe, but only because he’s a first year coach. Any other circumstance, I’d expect to see headlines today about how New England will be making a change.
10. Which means that the Patriots are about to find themselves in the absolute worst position any team, or any fan of any team, could ever find themselves in. The absolute last place you ever want to be. The “stuck between Aunt Millie and Uncle Jake at Christmas Dinner” of football hell. They’re a team with an entire front office on the hot seat and a ton of cap space.
11. Because what we have now are a series of diametrically opposed forces. There are a group of men whose livelihoods are on the line next year, and unless they do something drastic, they’re all gone. So they’re going to spend a buttload of money on guys that they think will help the team. They’ll likely overspend to ensure players come here as opposed to somewhere else. There will be more guaranteed money upfront as added incentive for players who are being enticed by better teams. And to be fair, maybe it will all work out and the contracts will all be worth it and the team will take a solid positive step forward from all the upcoming trades and signings. But if it doesn’t work out, all the guys who were set to lose their jobs anyway will be gone, with no more worries about the crappy contracts they just negotiated, and the Patriots will have gone from a ton of cap space to cap hell with almost nothing to show for it.
12. Not to get all doomy and gloomy here. There’s still some reason for optimism next year, and I mean that. We all know that Maye is the guy, And there are some players who will bolster the offense coming in via free agency. I can’t see the Patriots even beating the Bills backups next week, so a Top 3 Draft Pick is still likely. They can’t be a worse team next year than they were this year (right? Right? Anyone)? But we all just need to buckle up for contracts and signings we really haven’t seen around here this century.
13. But I don’t really feel like talking about this game anymore. I’m amazed anyone is even reading this article right now, to be honest. This is the kind of game you forget ever happened as soon as humanly possible, so let’s all do that.
14. To close out, a few final thoughts about this time of year.
15. I wish that Christmas fell on a Wednesday every single year. You basically get two weeks off. I’m sure that there are people who have to be back in the office on the 2nd for two days before the weekend comes around again, but we all know that absolutely nothing of substance is getting done until the 6th. So for those poor suckers who have to pretend to work later this week, feel free to use those two days to “settle in.” To “get back into the swing of things.” To “calibrate for the year.” To “dig out.” There are a ton of phrases out there to rationalize slacking off at work, so make sure you dust off your favorite.
16. I also had too much going on on Christmas Day to watch any of the games, but it seems like there were some good ones. I’m sure the NFL will keep doing it for as long as possible – though it will certainly be interesting when Christmas falls on a Tuesday and there’s a team who inevitably played a game less than 48 hours ago who has to suit up again in order to make the league more money.
17. What I certainly had time for, however, was my annual watch of It’s a Wonderful Life on NBC this past Christmas Eve. I don’t know what it is about that movie, but it is straight-up cinematic pepper spray for me each and every year without fail. It’s never if I’m going to lose it, but when.
18. “Zuzu’s petals….there they are!!! Whaddaya know about that! MERRY CHRISTMAS!” Goodnight Irene.
19. And I don’t care how repetitive I sound or how sick any of my regular readers are of hearing it: George Bailey stopping to kiss the broken newel post on his way up the stairs to hug his children is the single greatest moment in the history of American Cinema. I will forever die on this hill.
One game to go, and then this is all mercifully over. I’m feeling battered and brusied from this season, so I can’t even imagine how Drake Maye feels.