Notes, musings, and observations from the New England Patriots 34-15 loss to the Miami Dolphins.
In years past, a loss like yesterday’s against the Miami Dolphins would leave a taste in my mouth so sour that no amount of cranberry sauce or pecan pie could wash it out. When your team gets so thoroughly bullied like that, it’s easy to feel lousy and let it affect you way more than it should.
But you know what? It’s Thanksgiving week. The best week of the year. And this season is a wash anyway. So no time to dwell on the negative.
1. On the plus side, the loss doesn’t matter at all. Wins and losses are irrelevant this season, as we’ve all been saying all year. And the Patriots would have lost this game even if they had Tommy B and Gronk and Randy Moss and Ty Law and Rodney Harrison and Andre Tippett and John Hannah out there; at Miami is almost always an L and that’s just the way it is.
2. But the way they lost? That’s kind of a different story. The 34-15 score makes it seem like this game was way closer than it actually was, which is saying something.
3. Although I must admit: part of me has always wondered what a football game would look like if the defense decided before the game that it just wasn’t going to tackle, block, or cover at all. And now I’ve seen it. So I can cross that one off my bucket list.
4. The last few weeks have been wins and competitive losses, which is all we want to see. But this one represented a complete regression to not only early in the season, but to 2023 levels of suckitude. This was a team that was completely unprepared to play a football game.
5. How bad was it? The Patriots had 14 first downs and 269 yards of offense in this game. The Fins, on the other hand, had 17 and 289 in the first half alone. Tua was throwing to guys so wide open I was starting to wonder if they snuck onto the field after the ball was snapped and hid behind the refs until the last minute. The game got out of hand so fast I imagine there are a few fans who hadn’t even made it to their seats yet and it was already more or less over.
6. We’re into Thanksgiving now, so it is what it is at this point. Help is not coming. There is no cavalry coming over the hill, and the issues that have plagued this team all season will continue to plague. And that’s fine, to a degree; the offensive line is devoid of talent and will keep getting slapped around. The receivers are serviceable at best, outmatched at worst. Hunter Henry is a reliable tight end, but has a ceiling. These are all things we knew going in and can live with.
7. But that New England is still putting themselves in early holes with pre-snap penalties, or extending opposing drives by jumping offsides, or drawing unnecessary holds or illegal formations to negate big plays, all sit squarely on the throne of the International Chili Competition Port-o-Potty where the poor tackling, blown coverages, lack of adjustments, and getting so completely out-schemed that you kind of have to wonder if the sideline headsets are just playing the Baby Shark Theme over and over as opposed to being used to communicate.
8. Let the record show I still believe in Jerod Mayo. I think he has what it takes to be a head coach in the NFL. His players love him and he’s a smart football mind. And there’s for sure a learning curve when it comes to being a head coach at this level. But he has some serious work to do. All the coaches do. There’s something that they’re doing that just ain’t working.
9. The good news is that a complete turnaround is 100% possible. You learn from your mistakes in one season and you don’t duplicate them in the next. John Kimble found himself completely dominated by those kindergartners early on, but he got his act together and whipped them into shape. It’s doable.
10. But still, it’s painful to watch. I feel like somebody left the “Scott’s Tots” episode of The Office on repeat and there’s nothing I can do to change the channel.
11. Yes, there have been injuries. But there’s absolutely no way you’re ever going to convince me that the unfathomable drop-off in production and overall ability between last year and this year is completely due to a few guys missing. I’m not going to sit here and have someone try to tell me that having Bentley and Peppers out is the reason that the Patriots can’t tackle anyone and forget to cover receivers coming out of the flat. But If that is in fact the case, somebody sign those guys to the largest contracts in NFL history.
12. It’s Thanksgiving week, so in the spirit of the holiday I’m going to spend the rest of these Fan Notes talking about what I’m grateful for. Because it’s there for sure.
13. In years past I would have lamented the hell out of this play – but that backwards pass to Kendrick Bourne that he was supposed to throw across the field for a RB screen but ended up looking like he threw it with his non-dominant hand as it flopped to the ground had me straight up belly-laughing. That was an objectively horrible play and it was hilarious.
14. There was one offensive series in which Mondre ran sideways, then backwards, for a loss of six. The next play was a deep overthrow down the right sideline. Drake Maye took a sack on third down when the defender blew by completely unblocked and the Patriots punted on 4th-and-25. Hands down the worst offensive possession of the season. But on the other hand, in 2023 we would have referred to that exact sequence as “Sunday.” New England would go loss of yards/incompletion/huge sack/punt on like a third of their offensive possessions last year, so we’re still trending in the right direction.
15. Drake Maye is getting Pop Douglas in space on the regular, where he does his best work. If New England can get a legit outside threat, Douglas can be a serious weapon on the inside.
16. Maye has also made two of what would be in the running for Plays of the Year if this team was even remotely relevant and anyone outside of Pats fans watched these games. He followed up his miracle TD against Tennessee to send it to OT with a 4th and 15 bomb to Austin Hooper. Maye threw the ball across his body, on the run, getting chased by four Dolphins defenders, from behind the 50 yard line to hit hooper right on the goal line. That athleticism, arm talent, and on-field vision is going to be something to watch once he gets to throw behind a line that we can’t all use in a pinch to strain the gravy this Thursday.
17. I have no idea at this point whether Drake Maye is making some of his plays because of the offensive play calling or in spite of it. There are your obvious screens and crossers where the play call works as drawn up, but it kind of feels like more often than not Maye has to scramble and improvise, and those always seem to be the plays that work the best. There are plenty of folks calling for AVP’s job already – I’m not one of them, but I will say the phone is out of my pocket and the first two numbers of my pin have been punched in – and you kind of have to wonder whether what we’re seeing is all just the level of talent or if there’s a man in over his head.
18. Ja’Lynn Polk seems to be on a wide receiver installment plan, getting one target per game in order to get his confidence back up. At this rate, he only needs to play for the Patriots for the next 39 years and he’ll pass Wes Welker’s reception record.
19. If Maye is your lone offensive bright spot, Christian Gonzalez continues to take that honor on the other side of the ball. Of Jaylen Waddle’s 144 receiving yards yesterday, only 14 of them came with Gonzo in coverage. The problem is you can’t put Gonzalez on everybody, and Tua just threw wherever he wasn’t.
20. I’ve seen enough great production out of Jonnu Smith these past few seasons to lead me to believe that he might be a great fit in New England. I’m surprised Bill Belichick didn’t pursue him at some point in the past.
21. The Patriots are now sitting at 3-9. They’ve officially been eliminated from taking the AFC East this year (thanks, you’re a great crowd! I’ll be here all week) and can be eliminated from the playoffs altogether depending on what takes place next week. So I don’t want to see them punt it once for the rest of the year. No more FG attempts either. Let’s go Dallas Carter on the rest of the 2024 season and get after it. Get Baker out onto the field. Keep KJ Osborn as a healthy scratch. Try some cool plays. Why the hell not.
22. Sure, it all sucked. But I’d still much rather be a Patriots fan than a Dolphins fan in 2024. The Fins are going to win just enough games this year to miss the playoffs while still getting a middling draft pick and their QB is one blown blocking assignment away from early retirement. You always root for wins, and at the end of the day only one fanbase out of 32 ends the season happy, but as we look to 2025 and beyond, it’s hard not to be optimistic even in the face of a drubbing like this one.
My advice over the coming week? Eat so much turkey that you sleep straight through the weekend. Otherwise, you’re going to have to watch the Pats play the Colts on Sunday. And nobody has been so naughty this season as to deserve that.