Rangers 9, Red Sox 7: Bullpen Blows It, Defense Is Indefensible

The Red Sox had no business losing this game, but credit where credit is due: They managed.

The Red Sox, looking to keep momentum going after beating the reigning World Series champions on Tuesday, took on the Rangers again on Wednesday as Jarren Duran, fresh off a lenient two-game suspension, returned to the lineup just in time to make a second-inning throwing error and put the Sox down 1-0. The Aristocrats!

Did you know that Duran’s jersey sales spiked this week? That’s really stupid! Not stupid? Nick Sogard, who laid down a sacrifice bunt to tie it at 1-1 before David “Barry Larkin” Hamilton did this against Rangers starter and substitute math teacher Dane Dunning to make it 2-1:

Sogard wasn’t done, though, turning a crazy double play to get starter Tanner Houck out of a jam in the fourth:

Unfortunately, it’s a little bit harder to clean up a monster dong, like the one Adolis Garcia hit to tie it 2-2 in the sixth:

The lead didn’t last, though, as Wilyer Abreu more or less immediately returned the favor to make it 3-2:

And then Rafael Devers, who helped put runners on the corners with one out, almost biffed a scoring opportunity by forgetting how many outs there were and getting doubled off… but, it turns out, the run from third scored before Devers got got, making it 4-2, so that’s good, because it wasn’t a force play. This confused many people for reasons I can’t actually fathom. Anyhow see for yourself:

But that lead didn’t last long either, as Luis Garcia continued his disappointing Red Sox career by giving up a(nother) homer to his namesake:

Things got worse from there, but our Garcia had a chance to get out with the lead, albeit out of a jam of his own making, but Hamilton fucked up on a routine grounder to make it 4-4. The fans were not happy. I went so far as to record a screenshot video of people complaining about him on X, only for the file not to be supported. So like take my word for it, or just be angry yourselves.

In the bottom half of the inning Masa Yoshida doubled with two outs. Devers was walked and then like 10 seconds later Danny Jansen showed everyone (Reese McGuire included) who’s boss, singling to put the Sox up 5-4:

Not to be outdone, Romy Gonzalez doubled to make it 7-4:

You’d think that would have been the end of the fireworks, but after Gonzalez messed up a grounder, Wyatt Langford homered to tie the game at 7-7. Josh Winckowksi: Not great!

Not to be outdone, once the Sox frittered away the ninth, Zack Kelly gave up a two-run homer to Jonah Heim to put the Rangers ahead 9-7 in a game they had no business winning:

That’s how it ended. Butts.

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