Red Sox 6, Astros 5: Houston, We Have a Solution

Step inside the brain of a madman for Tuesday night’s game

At the end of May, I live-blogged the game so you, the reader, could see what it’s like to live in my head. Now, with the team crumbling and playoff hopes slowly slipping away, let’s do that again to see if I can document my descent into madness.

7:55 PM: Quick Ronel Blanco scouting report, for those who didn’t watch his start last week. Blanco uses a fastball, slider, changeup, and curveball. Recently, he’s been mixing in the curveball more often, although it’s still the clear third offering. His fastball is fairly average, though it gets strikes and paves the way for his slider and changeup, both of which rack up the whiffs. Against lefties, he works on the outer half with primarily his heater and changeup. Look for Red Sox hitters to take the ball to be patient with Blanco and take the ball to left field when they can.

8:10 PM: First pitch, hustle double. You make it hard to hate you, Duran.

8:13 PM: Gotta love a slider right down the middle with two strikes. 1-0, Red Sox.

8:14 PM: I’m feeling a Triston Casas home run tonight.

8:15 PM: No fucking way. 3-0 Red Sox.

8:15 PM: You guys won’t believe me but I actually did write that prediction before it happened.

8:17 PM: Blanco is all over the place, missing his spots regularly. Make him throw you one.

8:20 PM: 3-0 at the end of the first inning. I’d probably walk Yordan Alvarez, even without knowing what the leadoff man does.

8:23 PM: Even with Altuve on first, I might walk him.

8:24 PM: Maybe don’t let Altuve steal all of the bases.

8:25 PM: I don’t hate the walk, but I’d really like to come out of this inning with the lead.

8:27 PM: Two really good two-strike pitches from Pivetta, and Diaz was completely unbothered by them. I have a bad feeling about this.

8:27 PM: Well, I wasn’t that wrong. Rocketed, but right at David Hamilton.

8:29 PM: Jeremy Pena with the sacrifice fly. 3-1, Red Sox.

8:31 PM: Singleton goes yard. Tie game. 3-3. It honestly wasn’t even a bad pitch.

8:32 PM: Stay tuned for an Anatomy of an Inning on that one. There’s a lot to break down.

8:38 PM: Lou Merloni and Kevin Millar are using 7th-inning material in the 2nd inning.

8:40 PM: Bases loaded, one out. Blanco is once again all over the place. Make him give you something to hit.

8:43 PM: Violation on Triston Casas for strike three. Are you kidding me?

8:45 PM: Devers strikes out to leave the bases loaded. That feels like an inning you’re going to look back on in about two hours and wish you had back.

8:47 PM: My phone just suggested that I open Letterboxd. Maybe that’s a sign that I start watching something else. If you’re looking for a recommendation, go see Sing Sing. It’s my current pick for the 2024 Best Picture.

8:50 PM: Leadoff walk. That’s never good.

8:50 PM: Wedgie! The ball got stuck in the fence. I can’t say I’ve ever seen that before.

8:51 PM: Sacrifice fly by Chas McCormack. That’s a tough one because Meyers should have been called out on strikes and ended up taking a walk. 4-3, Astros.

8:53 PM: What a play by Rafaela. Put that one in your outs above average or whatever.

8:54 PM: Any time Alvarez hits the ball, I assume it’s going 900 feet. Nice job by Pivetta to get out of the jam with just one run allowed.

9:01 PM: 1-2-3 inning by Blanco. Nothing of note to report.

9:04 PM: If you truly think Rafaela is a bad fielder because BaseballSavant says he is, you’re not paying enough attention.

9:13 PM: David Hamilton draws the leadoff walk. Gotta tie this thing up.

9:15 PM: Stolen base, sacrifice fly. Get that run across.

9:16 PM: Bloop single by Duran gets the run across and turns into a double with Dubon trying to throw Hamilton out when he never had a chance. 4-4.

9:18 PM: I know left field in Houston is short, but is this a real Mickey Mouse ballpark? Abreu hit the ball straight up in the air and it nearly left the ballpark.

9:20 PM: Base hit by my close personal friend Triston Casas drives in Duran. Shoutout to Dubon for the extra base on the throw. 5-4, Red Sox.

9:26 PM: How is Pivetta only at 48 pitches? That can’t be right.

9:30 PM: You can’t keep letting these bottom-of-the-order guys get on base. If you can’t get Altuve and Alvarez out, you’ve gotta find a way to pitch to them with nobody on base.

9:35 PM: That’s an incredibly heads-up double play by the Red Sox. First by Pivetta for jumping out of the way of the ball he knew was headed to Hamilton, and by Hamilton to tag the runner rather than flipping to second. You can be frustrated by Pivetta’s inconsistency, but you have to love it when he’s fired up coming off the mound.

9:38 PM: Holy hell. What a catch by Jake Meyers to steal extra bases from O’Neill. Unfortunately, catch probability had it at 96.4%, so it doesn’t actually count as impressive.

9:42 PM: John Valentin referenced on the broadcast. Someone tell Dan Secatore.

9:47 PM: Managing to get Alvarez out while pitching around him is impressive.

9:48 PM: Why is it that when Alvarez makes an out, Diaz immediately hits a home run? 5-5.

9:55 PM: This is a very long game and we’re only in the sixth inning. I just know the bullpen is going to find a way to blow it and send me to bed angry.

9:57 PM: Jarren Duran winds up on second base every time. He could hit a home run and I think he might stop at second just for fun.

10:02 PM: Two more left on base in the sixth. Oof.

10:04 PM: The Angels have a 5-2 lead over the Royals in the 7th with the bases loaded and nobody out. It would be pretty cool if they could blow that one open.

10:08 PM: 1-2-3 inning by Greg Weissert. Maybe some low-stress time in the minors was what he needed to get back on track. Let’s hit.

10:10 PM: Old friend (enemy) Kaleb Ort takes the mound for the Astros.

10:13 PM: Very quick inning by Ort. That’s why they call him the Orture Chamber.

10:15 PM: I just watched a Twitter video of a woman frying a frozen chicken pot pie, and not doing a very good job. I’m not sure what she was going for.

10:16 PM: Zack Kelly for the 7th.

10:18 PM: Here comes Yordan Alvarez with two outs and the bases empty. I know Diaz has killed you, but pitching around Alvarez is probably smart.

10:19 PM: Or you could get him to ground out on the first pitch. That works too.

10:20 PM: You can have two base runners reach base in the eighth and ninth to avoid the top of the order. Score now, and get the damn outs.

10:25 PM: HAVE A DAY, JARREN DURAN. 6-5 RED SOX.

10:26 PM: Luis Garcia was warming. Let’s see if that continues.

10:28 PM: Just did the Wednesday mini crossword in 21 seconds. Not bad.

10:30 PM: It is Garcia, and he immediately gives up a baserunner.

10:31 PM: He nearly gets a double play, but Jeremy Pena beats it out. Great job by Danny Jansen to back up the throw at first.

10:33 PM: Great splitter by Garcia for the second out. Gotta finish the inning though.

10:36 PM: After a brief injury delay, Garcia hangs a slider with two strikes. Fortunately, Dubon can’t punish the mistake and flies out to end the inning. Nice work, Luis.

10:38 PM: Insurance runs would be cool.

10:40 PM: What the hell is going on in New York? The Guardians have left 18 guys on base and are somehow tied at three with the Yankees in the twelfth inning. Neither team has scored in extra innings.

10:41 PM: Casas works a leadoff walk.

10:43 PM: Devers singles on an 0-2 count. Please get some insurance runs.

10:45 PM: Second and third, two outs. C’mon Danny Jansen.

10:47 PM: Jansen walks. David Hamilton, it is up to you.

10:50 PM: They leave ‘em loaded. One run lead for the ninth. Here comes Kenley.

10:52 PM: 7-8-9 hitters. Let’s keep this simple.

10:55 PM: Jake Meyers hit one pretty well, but Jarren Duran runs it down for the first out. I may have pooped my pants a little bit when that one left the bat.

10:56 PM: Shay Witcomb pops out for the second out. Victor Caritini pinch hits with two outs.

10:58 PM: Red Sox win! Final score, Red Sox 6, Astros 5. Future Hall of Famer Cooper Criswell takes on some guy named Justin Verlander tomorrow. Take the series, and give me hope for another week or so.

11:02 PM: Old friend Jack Lopez squeeze bunts a run across for the Angels. The Royals trail by four heading to the bottom of the ninth. I’m going to assume the Angels take this one with Ben Joyce on the mound.