A very, very good breakfast. Hall of Fame? Maybe, maybe not.
Dwight Evans was a damn good baseball player. He played 20 seasons, most of them with the Red Sox, hit 385 home runs, and was basically always there when you needed him. When his longtime teammate Jim Rice made the Hall of Fame — which the HOF scolds hate, but they’re dumb and annoying so ignore them — the conversation inevitably turned to Evans’s case. He won’t make it, but who cares? He was good, even great, and we don’t need to overthink the rest of it. Also good, even great? Eggs, baby!
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I won’t go through the trouble of finding it, but there’s an Instagram reel of some preposterously pretentious guy saying “eggs on toast” in the most absurd, self-important voice before spelling out his recipe, which, frankly, is something I never thought I’d like. Not that I dislike eggs on toast, but this recipe was for far creamier eggs than I’d ever made in my life, having been a scrambled guy for my youth and into adulthood.
Well, people change (unless they’re Dwight Evans, who was phenomenally consistent) and I decided to let the pretentious voice guide me. I wanted to taste these runny, wavelike eggs, on toast. Frankly you have to eat them on toast, or, like, rice, because something needs to sop up the runny goodness. And hoooo boy are they good. Are they great? I dunno, they’re still eggs. You kinda can’t screw them up. But dang, I wish I had known this sooner!
Evans’s Eggs on Toast
- Eggs
- Bread of your choosing, provided it’s sourdough
- Butter
- Chives (optional)
- Salt and pepper to taste, duh
Bryan’s Notes
I have never put chives on this, which I know sounds blasphemous, but what am I gonna do, buy a whole load of chives and use them precisely once? Come on now. They’re not the star of the show and I’m not running a restaurant here. FOH, chives.
Anyhow, this video from Gordon Ramsey pretty much illustrates the cooking process and is not, rather obviously, the one of which I’m thinking:
So, to just go over what’s in the video:
- Put the eggs, unscrambled, in a pot with a slab of butter
- Mix over medium heat, removing every 30 seconds while still stirring
- Go back and forth until the eggs are the desired creaminess but not overcooked
- Pour them over the toast, covering the whole dang piece, salt and pepper those bad boys (and maybe chive ‘em, ugh), while reading Dewey’s Baseball-Reference page