The Over The Monster team helps you find some presents for the Red Sox fan in your life.
Bully for you if you’re one of those freaks who does their holiday shopping in August (aka, a middle-aged mom). But for the rest of us, this week can be pretty stressful. If you’ve already scrolled through the entirety Oprah’s Favorite Things 26 times and you still haven’t finished your shopping, then we’re here to help. It’s OTM’s 2024 Red Sox Holiday Gift Guide. (And, sorry Craig, there are no free agent starters on the list this year, you’re going to have to buy one of those on your own.)
An Homage T-Shirt
No free ads, but I can personally speak to the quality of Homage’s products. I’ve got a couple of their shirts over the last few years, and I’m satisfied with all of ‘em. We’re talking about wicked comfy material and unique designs that can satisfy any Boston fan.
Is the Red Sox fan in your life also a Dead Head? Homage has got you covered with a jawn that would make Jerry Garcia blush. Do they worship at the altar of Guy Fieri? Let your loved one turn Fenway into Flavortown with this little number. Are you shopping for a big Wade Boggs fan? Homage has got not one, but two odes to the Chicken Man himself.
I promise I’m not sponsored by Homage…yet. I’m open to a deal if one of their big wigs happens to be reading this. Until then, trust me on this: they’ll probably have something that would make for a perfect gift this year. It’s not just Red Sox stuff either: they’ve got merch for other teams, shirts based off of movies and comic books, all that fun stuff. You could get lost browsing their website.
Side note: if you’re also looking for some swag themed off of colleges, Homefield is another good outlet. I had to jump on their offering of a 1998 UMass football national champs shirt, because I don’t think I’ll ever have another chance to buy anything commemorating the Minutemen’s success on the gridiron.
– Fitzy Mo Peña
Fenway Park FOCO Brick Set
These aren’t made by that Danish company that starts with an “L” and ends with an “ego,” but this should still do the trick for any Red Sox fans who are also brick builders in their spare time.
We’re still a few months away from Opening Day, so we all need to find ways to occupy ourselves until baseball starts back up. I’ll likely be playing video games or losing fantasy football matchups (if I haven’t already lost in the playoffs; it’s TBD as I type this). Tom Werner will probably be taking chanting lessons.
Another way to kill that time: assembling a 3,206 piece brick set that resembles America’s Most Beloved Ballpark™. It may not look that big on the Foco website, but that’s a LOT of bricks.
Alternatively, there’s a mini version of this set that features just a mere 947 pieces.
– Fitzy Mo Peña
New York Times Book of Red Sox Headlines
A pretty cool gift idea for the reader and/or historian that you’re shopping for: a collection of Red Sox headlines from the New York Times over the years. Parents across Red Sox Nation would probably get a kick out of going down memory lane through the news of the day. A perfect addition to your coffee table.
And hey: apparently, these books are updated consistently, so maybe your edition of the book will feature headlines on another second-half slump!
If only we could get an edition featuring headlines from OTM…
– Fitzy Mo Peña
Red Sox Greatest Plays Coaster Set
What’s better than reminiscing over great moments in Boston baseball history? Reminiscing over great moments in Boston baseball history with a tasty beverage by your side.
This set of four coasters features diagrams of iconic Red Sox plays: Dave Roberts’ steal in Game 4 of the ALCS, the walkoff homer to right that David Ortiz hit a few innings later, Roger Clemens’ 20 strikeout game against Seattle in 1986, and Carlton Fisk’s heroics in Game 6 of the 1975 Fall Classic.
I feel like these coasters vastly overlook the Darnell McDonald game in 2010, Rick Porcello’s one-hitter against the Yankees in 2018, and Francy Cordero’s walk-off grand salami a few years ago, but that’s neither here nor there.
– Fitzy Mo Peña
Crocheting Lessons
Photo by AGNES BUN/AFP via Getty Images
What could be more topical, or better celebrate the arrival of our new ace? And with winter here, why not cultivate a new pastime to complement spring, summer, and fall spent with our Red Sox? Cozy up inside—fireplace and beverage optional—because I feel like needle arts are about to have a moment in Boston. Done correctly, this could be the gift that keeps on giving, as you rake in future crocheted, Red Sox-themed gifts. Bragging rights included (“Yeah, I started crocheting practically as soon as the winter meetings ended. I might make some oven mitts for John Henry as a thank you. I already sent Craig Breslow a table runner.”).
– Maura McGurk
An ICONIC Puzzle Featuring Wally
What’s the best way to get the kinds interested in the Red Sox when they haven’t finished above .500 the last three years? How about a puzzle featuring their favorite mascot where the pieces are shaped like little wooden baseball players in action?
It comes in different sizes, so you can pick the one that’s right for the situation, and all the pieces are solid wood. My niece will definitely be getting one.
And for the adults …
Your Favorite Brand of Alcohol
Photo by Howard Erker/MediaNews Group/Oakland Tribune via Getty Images
On many occasions this season, your favorite Red Sox fan is going to have to endure Aroldis Chapman and his 6.0 BB/9 over the last four years enter the game and try to protect a narrow lead. The experience will not be pleasant.
Even if he’s successful, he will make these situations as painful as possible. Free passes will be handed out, few balls will go in play, and even frames where he puts up a zero will teeter on the edge of disaster for several minutes while we wait for the count to fill up. Whether it’s wine or whiskey, don’t cheap out on the ones you love. They’re going to need the good stuff to get through these outings!
– Matt Gross
Unlicensed Red Sox Apparel
For several years, I was the Editor in Chief of a trade magazine that focused on the product licensing industry. Without exaggeration they were the worst professional years of my life, and I grew to hate licensed products, and their promoters, with a fiery passion. And while I bluster about how it’s not really possible for baseball players to be overpaid, I do think there’s a moral imperative not to pay the insane markup for Fanatics trash, which would in fact pay the players residuals… but I have to draw the line somewhere: There’s no need to pay a premium to make the point you like the Boston Red Sox. If you want to Stan the team you don’t need to pay John Henry to do so. My alternative site of choice has always been Chowdaheadz, but I applaud any attempt to circumvent a system that sees a Sox fitted cap selling for $42 plus tax, not leastwise because when you wear something even slightly off the beaten path, like the hoodie above, you’ll get waaaaay more props than if you wear the same shit as everyone else. It’s not rocket science: In this case, cheaper, and different, is plainly better. Your 8-year-old might not agree, but, to reiterate, I’m right and they’re wrong.
– Bryan Joiner