All kinds of presents to remind them of all their favorite Fenway personalities!
Having trouble finding the perfect Valentine’s gift for that special someone? Do they have too much Sox memorabilia in their living space, but still want something Sox-related? Look no further than this Valentine’s day gift guide! Simply determine who their favorite Sox player or personality is and get them the present that will easily remind them of their cherished heros. Below are all of our very romantic suggestions!
IF THEIR FAVORITE PLAYER IS TRISTON CASAS…
Nail polish
Photo by GUILLAUME SOUVANT/AFP via Getty Images
This one’s a pretty easy association. We all know our big boy Casas loves to paint his nails. With a fun nail polish, your loved one will have a manicure or pedicure just like our first baseman.
IF THEIR FAVORITE PLAYER IS RAFAEL DEVERS…
Ice cream
Photo by Jens Kalaene/picture alliance via Getty Images
Our other big boy Raffy isn’t called “Raffy Big Scoops” for nothing! With a scoop-like swing of his bat he can crush dingers whenever he’s not injured. He’s a fan of ice cream himself, and if you really want to get your person some ice cream in honor of Raffy, get them either chocolate or vanilla, as Raffy has told ESPN those are his favorite flavors.
IF THEIR FAVORITE PLAYER IS JARREN DURAN…
A tennis racket
Photo by Josef Bollwein/SEPA.Media /Getty Images
Duran was told he needed one last summer, so surely your Valentine needs one too!
ALTERNATE JARREN DURAN IDEA…
A 500-pound barbell
Photo by David Madison/Getty Images
Is the tennis racket idea in bad taste? Get them an extremely heavy barbell instead, so they can get as muscle-bound as Big Swole himself!
IF THEIR FAVORITE PLAYER IS GARRETT CROCHET…
A pig
Photo by: Richard Hamilton Smith/Design Pics Editorial/Universal Images Group via Getty Images
When the Red Sox acquired Garret Crochet, Lou Merloni dubbed the acquisition as getting our “pig”, because Garret Crochet is a powerhouse. It’s unclear what that means, but perhaps a pig to remind your special someone that they’re a powerhouse too is also in order.
IF THEIR FAVORITE PLAYER MICROPHONE GUY IS JAHMAI WEBSTER…
A big cookie
NESN
Does your sweetie-pie love Jahmai? Well, Jahmai loves big cookies, so by the transitive property your sweetie-pie would also love a big cookie!
IF THEIR FAVORITE PLAYER IS TREVOR STORY…
Calcium
Photo by: Jeffrey Greenberg/Universal Images Group via Getty Images
All that man ever does is break himself. This is what he needs, and your Valentine could benefit from them too!
IF THEIR FAVORITE PLAYER MANAGER GUY IS ALEX CORA…
A razor
My astute father believes that the Red Sox play better whenever Alex Cora is clean-shaven. Maybe your lover will perform better if they’re clean-shaven too! (On their face, you sickos. Goodness. This is a family website.)
IF THEIR FAVORITE PLAYER IS MASATAKA YOSHIDA…
A vacation voucher
Responsible Travel
Last year when Yoshida was injured he was instructed (or chose) to not participate in any baseball activities. The Section 10 guys believed that Yoshida, instead of doing anything baseball-related, was off traveling the country. Whether or not this was true, he’d certainly love a vacation-voucher, because who wouldn’t? Your honey would surely love one as well.
IF THEIR FAVORITE PLAYER MASCOT GUY IS WALLY…
A giant Mass-Mutual sign
Photo by Maddie Malhotra/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images
We’ve all seen that MassMutual commercial where Wally needs to turn on the sign at Fenway to use as a nightlight so he can sleep, right? If your Valentine needs a nightlight and loves Wally, why not splurge on getting a replica of the enormous sign? Plus they’ll enjoy it when the circles light up to indicate how many balls and strikes there have been in the at-bat!
IF THEIR FAVORITE PLAYER RED SOX PERSONALITY (OR, UM, LACK THEREOF) IS JOHN HENRY…
Nothing at all, apparently
Well, first of all, if your Valentine is a John Henry fan/stan, it may be time to reevaluate your standards. Having done that, and deciding your Valentine is still the person of your dreams, then great news! You don’t need to get them anything! They are perfectly happy with their life and their possessions! What’s the point of more to make anything better? Why spend your precious millions money to improve their standard of living? It’s all fine! You shouldn’t whine and complain about it, after all you managed to have this Valentine in the first place after 86 years a long time of being single or something! In fact this might be your fourth Valentine in that time frame! That should be present enough!!
If you MUST get them ANYTHING, a soccer ball should be fine. Seems like John Henry (and, thus, your special someone) cares about that more than baseball these days, plus it’s cheap!
There you have it. A list full of love for the person you love. If the Red Sox permeate their lives as deeply as they permeate yours and ours, they’ll treasure any of these gifts that remind them of their favorite players and people.