What Should The Next Red Sox City Connect Jersey Look Like?

Let’s walk around town and get some inspiration.

In an effort to discover a real-life infinite money glitch, Nike announced that the “City Connect” jerseys released over the past few seasons are on a rotating schedule with the oldest editions being replaced by new versions beginning in 2025. The Red Sox yellow jerseys were among the first of the collection and were set to be replaced, but as Chris Cotillo reported, the team elected to add the popular new uniforms into the regular rotation. The navy blue jerseys are being replaced which is fine with me. I don’t know why they can’t keep both, but I digress.

The City Connect jerseys are supposed to represent the essence of the city. For example, the Red Sox original version draws on the Boston Marathon aesthetic with both the color scheme and font. While the inspirations for some team’s uniforms are a stretch (to say the least) let’s run through some potential sources of inspiration for the next rendition.

The Green Monster

Photo by Maddie Malhotra/Boston Red Sox/Getty Images

This is the most obvious option. The green monster is the most iconic ballpark feature in the sport. The Red Sox don’t feature green in any of their current uniforms. The Nike team who was assigned this design was given a layup. Use green monster green, and maybe incorporate brick somehow to tie in the rest of the park. It’s safe, simple, and sure to please the masses.

The Citgo Sign

Photo by Essdras M Suarez/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Another Boston landmark, even if it is an advertisement. I never think about Citgo as an oil company and really only associate the companny with the sign. I actually don’t know the last time I got gas at a Citgo. Regardless of your thoughts on the business, the sign is closely tied to Fenway Park. They could use some triangles, some orange, and the very plain Citgo font. I don’t know. This will never happen anyway.

The Rainbow Swash

Photo by Matthew J. Lee/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

If Boston had a city gate like the ones ancient medieval cities built to keep out the barbarian hordes, it would be the giant painted gas tank that looms over 93 in Dorchester. (I guess that would make the people of the South Shore the barbarian hordes and, having been to Wollaston Beach, I won’t say the comparison isn’t apt.) A rainbow swash-inspired jersey would be unique, utterly Boston, and completely hated and misunderstood by the rest of the country (which would make it even more Boston, actually).

And, yes, they should keep the hidden image of Ho Chi Minh in the design. The man once worked in the kitchen of the Parker House — you don’t get much more Boston than that.

Matt Damon

Just wear this as a baseball jersey.

MBTA

Here’s another option that will never happen, but could look cool if properly executed. Here’s the MBTA map.

If you took the different lines, slimmed them down a bit, and ran them parallel to each other, they’d make some cool uniform piping. You’d probably have to use a white base, but that’s okay. The MBTA “T” logo could even be repurposed to present an alternate Red Sox logo.

Paul Revere

Instead of doing a full jersey, what if we just switched up the hat? If you grew up in Massachusetts, you know the story of Paul Revere’s midnight ride. If you grew up elsewhere, I’d imagine you still get taught about the American Revolution, but I can’t vouch for Revere’s inclusion in the curriculum. Still, take Revere’s patented tricorn hat and slap a Red Sox logo on it. As a matter of fact, if they don’t do this, I may have to custom order one of those and go full Minuteman for games next season. The ball is in your court, Nike.

The Molasses Flood of 1919

The Boston Molasses Flood of 1919 isn’t talked about enough. On an unusually warm January day, a 50-foot molasses tank burst, sending molasses through the streets of Boston. According to Wikipedia, 21 people died and many others were injured. Aside from the death and destruction, that’s objectively hilarious. A famously slow, meandering substance flooded the streets to the point that people couldn’t escape. Sorry to those affected, but funny is funny.

The flood, while a tragedy, is indelibly a part of Boston. A dark brown jersey with a font that looks like it’s running would be out of the ordinary, tied to the city, and educate the country about Boston’s funniest disaster.

Fluff

In the interest of beefing up this piece, I’ll mention another food item. The marshmallow spread known as Fluff was allegedly invented in Somerville. The city even hosts a Fluff festival every September. A peanut butter and fluff-inspired jersey would be a great conversation starter. The conversations would likely be short and end with “Oh, cool”, but that’s okay because I get paid by the word. Fluff.

NOT Mark Wahlberg

Under no circumstances should this be the final choice.

The Cop Slide

Uniforms are one of the first things you notice about a team. If done correctly, they can provide a psychological advantage. The Baltimore Ravens are more intimidating wearing all black on Sunday night. Oregon football looks faster in their metallic silver helmets. While baseball isn’t a contact sport, the team could use this as an opportunity to add some swagger to their wardrobe.

To find that swagger, we need to turn to the single most daunting place in the city. That is, of course, the cop slide located near City Hall. If the Red Sox took the field in the top of the 1st inning wearing entirely silver, other teams would take notice. Players should be required to conquer the slide before wearing the uniform unless they represent a high injury risk.

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If they wanted to take a page out of the most prestigious, respected, and most importantly fun franchise in the league, they could opt out of the program entirely. You may not have noticed that the New York Yankees never received a City Connect jersey. That’s because the people in charge, for some reason, think the New York Yankees are bigger than baseball and are doing something other than playing a sport. If the Red Sox wanted to follow suit by opting out, they would be standing for the institution that is Major League Baseball. Remember, baseball is very serious, and wearing something other than your historical jerseys is an affront to the sport, the general public, and America as a whole.